


Unnecessary Additions

by s_eteth



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gender Dysphoria, Starvation, Trans Character, Trans Katsuki Yuuri, Trans Male Character, Trans Yuri Plisetsky, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 20:43:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20216011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s_eteth/pseuds/s_eteth
Summary: I suggest, maybe listening to “Yuri On Ice” during this! I’m listening as writing and the atmosphere of it just feels like more, y’know?





	Unnecessary Additions

**Author's Note:**

> I suggest, maybe listening to “Yuri On Ice” during this! I’m listening as writing and the atmosphere of it just feels like more, y’know?

_ Burning. Burning was the only way Yuri could describe it._

Seeing all the men in the Free Skate. All of them and their _perfect_ forms, Yuri Plisetsky could only describe his emotion as “burning”. He hated being viewed as the outsider. As if he was on the outside viewing in, viewing in on something only meant for _men_. 

Yuri Plisetsky felt rejected. He felt as if he wasn’t meant to be there, he felt weak, vulnerable, and afraid. He saw all the men with short hair, flat chests, wide shoulders, young and tall, and all he could feel was pure anger. His face burning with hot and overwhelmed with emotions. He felt small, weak, like a _girl_ when compared to these men. He felt like he didn’t belong. 

He stood at the door entering into the rink, Yuuri was preforming his free skate. Victor and every person in the rink were watching him as if he was the only person in the world, Yakov was even in pure awe. And all Yuri could feel was red hot blinding _rage_.

Yuri stormed out of the rink, thanking any god above for there being absolutely no people. He was pacing back and forth, clutching the sleeves of his jacket like they were the only thing keeping him from floating off Earth. He felt trapped, he felt afraid, he felt like he was going to black out. He felt like nothing worse could happen besides a _fucking_ anxiety attack during the finals. That was until, the most annoying person besides Victor and Yuuri, showed up right behind him.

“Ohhh, Plisetsky, isn’t it you! Aren’t you going to watch Yuuri preform? He’s doing great, but he ain’t no J.J.!” _This over confident asshole_, Yuri thought before walking out of J.J.’s way.

Yuri was not-fucking-prepared to deal with Canada’s most annoying, and dare he say, asshole of a figure skater. As much as his intentions seemed pure and nice, Yuri couldn’t stand him. 

“Aw, Yuri, c’mon! Is it because I said ’Ladies first.’ earlier? It’s no harm done, you’re a boy I know, but I can’t help but joke.”

Yuri was at the edge, he stopped dead in his tracks, his whole body must’ve been shaking as he started to cry. He couldn’t see J.J., but he knew he was wearing that shit eating grin, not giving a single fuck in the world. The face that shit eating grin belonged to decided to speak again, and Yuri knew he was about to be thrown off the scale. 

“But I mean, are you really? I remember when you were your Gramps’ little Ta-“

_ That_. That unfinished sentence finally threw his emotions overboard. He felt like he was a atom bomb exploding in a pond. Yuri Plisetsky felt _burning_. Just as Yuuri’s free skate reached the peak of its song, Yuri _snapped_. 

“WHO gave you the right to ever talk!” He turned around rapidly, almost falling, “When will you learn, I’m a BOY, ASSHOLE!” His voice was breaking, his tears came out even faster. He felt vulnerable. “All you do is go spouting things you have no right knowing! Why can’t you go and forget? Huh? You ever say that again, I’ll make you regret that for the rest of your life!” His face was burning hot, he was shaking violently, he couldn’t control anything he was doing. He felt like he did his free skate 10 times and then whatever Victor skated last year 10 more. He wanted to collapse, he wanted to disappear. Yuri ran to the bathroom and broke down.

The sounds of Yuri’s sobbing and gross heaving echoed through the bathroom, all he could hear was how pathetic he sounded and Yuuri’s performance reaching its end. He thought back on so many things that’s inspired him to be him. He remembers telling his grandpa, “I’m going to name myself after Yuri Katsuki, the best skater in the world!” when he was younger. He remembers how Victor having longer hair than his mother made him feel more comfortable with himself. How his outfit expressed both male and female, making him feel alright with his femininity. He remembers his family members, his parents, dejecting him from the family. How only his grandpa understood he didn’t have a granddaughter, but a grand_son_. How he was known as the ‘Fairy of Russia’, but by his grandfather, the ‘Ice Tiger of Russia’. He remembers how he felt at the dead of night, stomach hurting from not eating since breakfast, crying so hard he couldn’t breath, all because he had a females chest, these _unnecessary additions_. He was crying so hard, he didn’t even notice the pair of black skates standing in front of the bathroom stall. 

_A knock._

”Hey, Yurio, are you in there? It’s me, Yu-“

”I know it’s you, pig.” He tried to build a defensive front over his ever shattering self, but he knew Yuri could see through it.

”Look, Yurio, I... know how you feel-“ “HOW COULD YOU KNOW!” He barked, voice still shaky as ever. He heard a step back, then a scoff. “Yurio, you’re talking to the skater who cried after a competition, then ended up getting horribly drunk 2 days after. How could I not?” Yuri wanted to laugh, but emotions felt impossible right now.

”Can you step out? It’d be easier to talk.” Yuuri’s voice didn’t feel like pity, it felt... it felt genuine. It felt like... agape. Yeah, agape. 

Yuri sat up, not even bothering wiping the tears and snot on his face, and unlocked the stall door. He could see a completely exhausted Yuuri, he could see the bags under his eyes and the slight smile to his face. He looked genuine. He felt comforted when he saw that Yuuri’s face didn’t change emotion when he saw the depressing sight of the poor teen.

“The doors are locked if you’re worried, Victor won’t be randomly barging in, as he’s currently staring down J.J. to make him feel horrible.” Yuri couldn’t tell if he felt relieved, embarrassed, or angry. _Victor, defending him? How did he even know? _Yuri stood emotionlessly as he thought that, before pushing the older ice skater out of the way and sitting on the counter where the sinks were. They then sat in silence for a few moments, before Yuri chimed in.

“How did you know?” his brain couldn’t produce a more complex sentence, he felt exhausted, like he could take a nap right on the bathroom floor if he weren’t in the spotlight. “Before my free skate ended, J.J. apparently barged in and went to complain to Victor about his ‘hormonal teenager’ in the lobby. Of course, once it ended, I went to go see what happened.” _Hormonal teenager? I haven’t even hit puberty you douche bag. _“Why did you come?” Yuuri looked at, well, Yuri. His eyes were sad and his face looked like a child whose cookie just got taken away. He looked scared and afraid, as if Yuuri was going to scold him right then and there. 

“Yurio, I know how it feels to get so overwhelmed that you can’t help but cry or yell, getting so overwhelmed that you just... can’t feel a thing.” Yuuri looked into the mirror, Yuri didn’t know what he was thinking, but he was probably thinking back to all the times he’s cracked under pressure. “I know how it feels to not know if you belong, to not know if you’re _enough_ to certain people. The fear of being seen as weak, pathetic...” He stopped and looked at the floor, putting a hand on his chest, “To be seen as an outsider.” He sighed and stayed silent for a little while before speaking again, “What I’m getting at is, the way you feel isn’t unnatural, it’s perfectly okay and there is people out there who understand you. I know I’m not your favorite person, but I’m here for you, no matter what you say or what happens, I am-“

Yuuri was cut off by the sudden pulling of his arm, before being pulled into a bear hug by the Ice Tiger of Russia himself. Yuri started crying into the others shoulder, he felt safe for the first time in days. He was surprised that the one who made him feel like this, is Yuuri Katsuki. Yuri then began reciting what happened, not stuttering one bit, but throwing a couple of swears in both Russian and English in there. After his story was told, from J.J. almost dead naming Yuri, to him actually saying he named himself after emotional mess, Yuuri Katsuki, the pair sat in silence, crowds yelling in the background. 

“Hey, Yurio?”

“What?”

“I’m trans too, y’know.” Yuuri said it so nonchalantly that Yuri almost fell off the counter. He felt amazed that the skater he adored was... was just like him.

* * *

The competition ended. Yuri won gold, Yuuri won silver, and Victor was 2 seconds away from beating J.J.’s ass, that was, until he decided to kiss Yuuri as if he was a gold medal. 

**Author's Note:**

> Extremely sorry to do J.J. like this, but I really needed to express some bad feelings I have rn. Woohoo I love being trans and feeling dysphoric every day of my life 🥳
> 
> ...anyways... this is the first fan fic i’ve wrote since my 2013 wattpad days! isn’t this exciting? hope everyone likes it


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